Tonight Show Polls: What’s Your Favorite Christmas Tradition?


-This first poll asks, “What is
your favorite finger food?” 50% said, “Chicken fingers.”
49% said, “Fish fingers.” Joe Biden said, “Lady fingers.” -Oh! -This poll asks, “What are you
most worried about for the future?” 10% said, “The environment.”
10% said, “The election.” 10% said,
“The state of the world.” 70% said, “The first parents who
name their kid Baby Yoda.” It’s gonna happen.
It’s gonna happen. Next poll asks, “Are you excited
for the Olympics?” 70% said, “Yes.” Russia said, “Nyet.” This next one asks, “What’s your
favorite Christmas tradition?” 65% said, “Opening presents.”
23% said, “Decorating the tree.” 12% said, “Telling Uncle Dave
it doesn’t matter how premium the bud is. Don’t show pictures of your
homegrown weed to my kids.” 12%?
-Put it away. -Next they asked, “Do you think
Trump will get impeached?” 10% said, “Yes.” 10% said, “No.”
10% said, “I’m confused. Hasn’t he already
been impeached?” 10% said, “No, no. There’s a difference between
being impeached and removed from office.” 10% said, “Oh,
so he has been impeached, but not removed from office?” 10% said,
“You’re not listening, Doug. He hasn’t been impeached or
removed from office. The question is asking if you
think he will be impeached.” 10% said,
“Don’t give me attitude, Paula. I’m trying to do my best here. Sorry if I don’t sit
in front of the TV watching CNN all day long. Some of us have jobs to go to.” 10% said,
“I’m a journalist, Doug.” 10% said,
“You have a blog, Paula.” 10% said, “And that’s more than
you’ll ever have, Doug. Visit politics.blogspace.com
for more details.” [ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow. -This last poll asks,
“What do you think about Facebook’s ads
being so accurate?” 70% said,
“I think it’s helpful.” 29% said, “I don’t like it.
It’s eerie.” Facebook said,
“Visit Lake Erie — 50% off.” That’s all the time we have for
“Tonight Show Polls.”

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Comments

  1. Favourite christmas "tradition"? Avoiding it, completely. It's the tackiest time of the year, can't fucking stand it. Obligatory shopping, shitty music, tinsel and glitter. Who needs it?

  2. Please refer to them as "holiday" traditions. Not everyone is catholic and you exclude, and in many cases offend, millions in using the word "Christmas".

  3. Love this Poll skit but NO NO NO us Clevelanders are Not not not accepting Any foreign Humans, sorry, so if you were not born here, or your ancestors were not born and RAISED well!!! In Cleveland = then STAY the Fuck Away from our glorious great Lake Erie and awesome midwestern Cleveland community. GOT THAT!!! GET THAT!! GOOD!!!

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