Meddling in the Russian elections

Hey, here I am in this voting booth, right?
Gonna vote now. Check it out, I got my
Russian citizenship passport and all that. If you don’t have one of these, man, you ain’t cool like me. Look, it’s got, like,
a double headed eagle. If you don’t got one of these, man, you ain’t shit. Wouldn’t it be cool, if like, the Seahawks had like a double-headed eagle? That’d be fucking awesome.
Maybe have like… have the bird go like, both
ways and shit or some shit. I dunno, that’d be awesome. So, uh, anyway, I’m gonna vote now. Let’s have a look at this ticket.
Let’s look at this thing. Uhhhhhhhh… lots of stuff to read here. (A bunch of crazy Russian shit) Bulletin? What? Uh, okay. (More crazy Russian shit) Presidente! (for sure) Russian Federation! (dude!) Okay. All right. It’s got a lot of shit over here, just, like… it’s a lot of text, instructions, but, come on,
you just check a box. I’m gonna skip all that,
I mean, nobody reads the instructions. All right, let’s look at this first dude… 1959 Gotta (some crazy Russian shit) Me so (some crazy Russian shit) Fuck that shit! I mean, look at this text, man. That’s a lot of fucking text. Way too much text… I mean, uh,
you ever try reading Russian? Shit’s fucking hard. It’s got all these… crazy letters that look like TV SETS and… fucking SPIDERS and shit, man. I’m like… FUUUUUUCK! You know? Uhhhhh… Who’s got the shortest text? Who’s got the shortest text?
Let’s just, like… let’s vote for that guy. Oh. Okay, over here.
There we go. 1952 Gotta WHAT?! Me so (horny)? ゴロド・モスクワ! President of the Russian Federation Sumo… vi… video the Enya? Okay. That’s pretty short.
Let’s vote for that guy! Okay. Fucking cool, man. All right. This wasn’t so fucking hard. What the fuck, bro? All right, yeaaaahh! YEAH! I just voted! FUCK YEAH! AWESOME! Gimme my… my pin, my voting pin, man. Yeah!

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