Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate

-Now, NBC held the first
Democratic presidential debates a few weeks ago,
and they were fine, but I had one complaint —
Not enough candidates. So we decided to hold
a debate of our own. All the candidates are right
here, right now, not split into two nights. So without further ado, here’s the “Late Night”
Democratic presidential debate. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] Welcome to “Late Night”‘s first 2020 Democratic
presidential debate. I’m your moderator, Seth Meyers.
Let’s jump right in. Vice President Biden, you haven’t talked about
any specific policies and have committed
several major gaffes. What’s the one reason you think
you’re still ahead in the polls? -President Obama. [ Laughter ] -Mr. Yang, what have
your friends been doing since you told them you
were running for president? -They’ve been laughing
their asses off. [ Laughter ] -Senator Sanders, what do you
like to complain about? -Every damn thing. [ Laughter ] -I’m sorry, Senator Bennet, why do you keep looking
into the audience? -I see my mom.
-Oh. [ Laughter ] Mayor Buttigieg, why did
you throw a Sudoku book across the stage
before the debate? -Because I couldn’t get it done. [ Laughter ] -Senator Sanders, what would
you say to people who say that it’s just not possible
to combine French fries, gravy, and cheese curds? -My neighbor 50 miles
North of me, Canada, somehow has figured out a way. [ Laughter and applause ] -Senator Warren,
some people have said you don’t know how to have fun. How do you like to relax
in your free time? -Watching climate change
bear down upon us. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar, I heard
rumors that you took CBD oil before the debate tonight.
Why? -Everything else
just melts away. [ Laughter ] -Congressman O’Rourke,
what has Bernie Sanders done that you respect the most? -Withstood the test of time
for the last 243 years. [ Laughter and applause ] -Secretary Castro,
what would be a good name for a Steven Seagal movie
set in a fertility clinic? -“Reproductive Justice.” [ Laughter ] -Congresswoman Gabbard,
if a chicken hawk kept his chicken hawk fork
in his chicken hawk drawer, where would he keep his
chicken hawk dishes? -His chicken hawk cabinet. -Yes!
[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Vice President Biden, what’s the Statue of Liberty
been up to lately? -Still holding onto that torch. [ Laughter ] -Senator Klobuchar, is that
your little Ford compact car out in the parking lot? -That is my Focus. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter ] -Senator Bennet, if you wrote
a book about your sex life, what would it be called? -“40 Years of No.” [ Laughter ] -Senator Booker, regular
or curly fries? -We must fight for both. [ Laughter ] -Mr. Yang,
what is the worst part about having an enlarged
prostate? -It would be the trickle. [ Light laughter ] -Senator Sanders,
what do you say to people who say they’re just
going in to Target to pick up a couple things? -They will spend hundreds
of millions of dollars. [ Laughter, cheers,
and applause ] -Senator booker,
how would you describe the star of “The Cosby Show”? -One of the most aggressive
Bills. [ Audience groans, laughter ] -Vice President Biden,
complete this rap — ♪ Your name is Joe Biden
and you’re here to say ♪ -We dealt with these issues
in a major, major way. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] -Governor Hickenlooper,
what do you call it when you pass someone a joint
and they don’t pass it back? -In Colorado,
we call that kidnapping. [ Laughter ] -Vice President Biden, you’re
dancing around over there. Do you need to go to
the restroom? -The answer is yes. Number one. -Well, it looks like
we’re out of time. So on behalf of the candidates,
have a good night! We’ll be right back with more
“Late Night”! [ Cheers and applause ]

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