Former VP Joe Biden Still Leads the Democratic Primary Race


-Let’s get to the news. According to a new poll,
former Vice President Joe Biden still leads the Democratic
primary race, despite the best efforts
of this man. [ Laughter ] “The New York Times”
is reporting that former Vice President
Joe Biden is trying to reduce
his number of gaffes by using a teleprompter
for speeches. Unfortunately, he’s already been
caught on camera massaging it. [ Laughter ] The Trump administration has
announced starting in October, immigrants applying for
a green card will be subject
to a wealth test. It will look something
like this. [ Audience ohs ] According to fact checkers, President Trump
has called someone good-looking or great-looking
in speeches or tweets 35 times since he took office, and still,
no one’s said it back. [ Laughter ] “You’re very good looking.” Thank you. [ Laughter ] “Do you have anything
you’d like to add?” [ Laughter ] Goodbye. [ Laughter ] Officials at Hong Kong
International Airport suspended flights
for the second day in a row after political protesters
took over the terminal, and LaGuardia suspended flights after a rat
was seen working at Cinnabon. [ Laughter ] Officials at a wildlife
rehabilitation center in Arkansas have developed
a specially designed wheelchair to help a baby raccoon
learn to walk. “Cool, cool,” said people
without health insurance. [ Laughter ] And finally, a German man
has raised over $700 on a GoFundMe page to help pay
for his rehabilitation from a potentially
life-threatening erection. Said the man, “With your help,
I can beat this thing.”

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