Donald Trump’s “Rigged Election” Talk: The Daily Show


Speaking of Batman,
America’s Joker has been having a tough time
on the campaign trail recently. -(whooping, applause)
-And… it seems… it seems like every woman
has accused him… has accused him of shaking hands
with their vaginas. Paul Ryan asked someone else
to spot him at the gym, and in the presidential race,
his numbers have fallen faster than Hillary at a 9/11 memorial. At this rate,
you realize Hillary doesn’t have to do anything
to beat Donald Trump. She just has
to run out the clock. She should just sit in a tree,
like Rue inThe Hunger Games,just waiting for everything
to finish. Just like Rue looking at Hillary
going… (whistling a tune) And Rue’s like, “Stop pandering,
Hillary. Stop it.” Now, there’s a reason everything
is going wrong for Donald Trump. Um, it’s because
he’s a terrible man who’s done terrible things and has a terrible plan
for the country. -(cheering, applause)
-But… but… why is hereallylosing? This whole election
is being rigged. It’s rigged like
you’ve never seen before. The whole thing is one big fix. Our system is rigged. You know it, they know it,
I know it, and pretty much
the whole world knows it. Yes, the whole world knows it. If you went to a remote village
in Nigeria and said, “What do you guys know
about America?” they’d say,
“Your elections are rigged. “And Chipotle makes you (bleep)
for days. (laughter) That is what we know, ah?” Just so you know, Trump thinks everything
in the world is rigged. For instance, in 2012,
he thought Mitt Romney lost because the election was rigged. He also tweeted that the
electoral college wasn’t legit. And whenThe Apprenticelost
the Emmy toThe Amazing Race,he said that the whole process
was also rigged. Which is just stupid.
Of course it was going to win– it had the word “amazing” in it. You should have called your show
The Amazing Apprentice.
That’s your fault, Donald Trump. And, now, obviously,
making a claim that a U.S. presidential
election is rigged is a very serious
and unprecedented thing to do. And it poisons the well for
anyone who becomes president. But luckily, Trump has offered
specific evidence of these crimes. Hillary Clinton meets in secret
with international banks to plot the destruction
of U.S. sovereignty. O-Okay, wait.
Okay, okay, wait, wait. So let me get this straight.
Uh, Hillary’s been running for 20 years just so that
when she finally gets power she can hand it over
to the banks? Clearly,
you haven’t met Hillary. Hillary’s been thirsty
for the White House so much that every time
she eats a turkey sandwich she pardons it first. She’s been so thirsty
for the White House, every Halloween she goes
as the sitting president. That’s what she does. And by the way,
these past couple of years have been
a little tricky for her. It’s been a tough one
to pull off. By the way, if you’re not into vaguely anti-
Semitic conspiracy theories, don’t worry, Trump has
a Choose Your Own Adventure of who’s rigging the election. And one of his more popular
stories is that black people have stopped stealing stereos
and now they’re stealing votes. We have to make sure that this
election is not stolen from us and is not taken away from us. Go and watch
these polling places. I hear too many stories
about Pennsylvania. Certain areas. And we can’t lose an election because of
you know what I’m talking about. Oh…! Nicely played, Donald! Yeah, if that speech was a car, the N word was
right in the middle of the road and Donald swerved around it
at the last section. “We can’t lose an election because of
you know what I’m talking about! You know! You know! You know. Here’s a quick question. If you’re genuinely trying
to warn America about one
of the greatest scandals ever, why wouldn’t you just say
what you’re talking about? Why would you allude to it
and beat around the bush? “Fire! Fire!” “Where?”
“You know where. “You know. You know.” So he’s blamed the banks,
he’s blamed the blacks, but the thing
he’s blamed the most is the thing
he can’t live without. The election is being rigged
by corrupt media. The corrupt media is trying
to do everything in their power to stop our movement. The crooked
Hillary Clinton campaign… (audience exclaiming) …and the mainstream media,
which they control, and use quite viciously. Oh, Donald Trump. The media is not rigged
against you. They’re just recording what
you say and playing it back. (laughter, applause) That’s all it is. (cheers and applause) If anything, you’re rigging
your own campaign. Does Trump not realize
that he’s the one on TV saying the things
that make him look bad? Maybe, you know,
we laugh at him, but maybe he doesn’t realize. Maybe he watches TV going,
“Who’s that guy? He makes me look like (bleep).” Like, maybe, maybe Donald Trump
is like those animals, who don’t recognize themselves
in a mirror. (dog growling) (barking) (growls) (laughing):
Trump is that gorilla. Okay, I’m just kidding,
I’m just kidding. Trump is not a wild animal,
come on. Because if he was, his sons
would have killed him by now. -Um…
(audience exclaiming) Seriously, Donald Trump,
Donald Trump, the media has given you
billions of dollars of free air time–
you realize that. Billions of dollars. How are they rigging it
against… Even your empty podium has been
on TV more than Gary Johnson and Jill Stein combined. Although, at least your podium
knows where Aleppo is. Now, now we’ve got more
to cover, but unfortunately, our show is rigged
by advertisers. So we’ve got to do that thing where we go away
for a little bit. You know, you know what
I’m talking about.

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Comments

  1. When he loses I'm going to stretch out on a cozy chair with some popcorn and enjoy the upcoming tantrum. If he said all this stuff to get attention for the election imagine what he'll say so people won't move on and forget about him

  2. How DARE you compare D. Drumpf to the Joker?! This is an insult of the worst sort against the Joker character and the entire DC Universe!

  3. Trump got rich from Russian mob, Obama was trained by the Russian mob. White House aka blacks in the house under foreign control.

  4. Donald's talk about things being rigged is so exaggerated it almost feels like he feels guilty about something being rigged. I don't know, like his casinos? Just a random thought.

  5. The whole system is rotten to the core. Get money the hell out of politics and we might have a democracy again. Hillary is just owned by her donors.

  6. well he is right about one thing, the system is actually rigged. Just look back at the election of 2000 and the supposed accidental spontaneous "blackout" that occurred when AL Gore was winning.

  7. So you think that the media is not corrupt and the countless videos, evidence of plain election rigging are just a big hoax? You think that Clinton is pure as ice? I guess nowadays even if they slap you with a big pile of shit you will still smile and lick it as it was ice cream. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. If Trump wins maybe Trevor can take his fascist propaganda and move to Mexico…oh wait, they don't allow illegal immigration in Mexico–he would be jailed and deported since those "racists" down in Mexico don't tolerate illegal aliens.

  9. I like this, a foreigner getting paidย to lie to millions of clueless gullible liberals andย paint a proven criminalย as Mother Theresa. Youย people do know that if Hillary wins we're going to war with Russia, a nuclear power, for a "no fly zone" that we don't need right?

  10. You know it, they know it, HE knows it!!! He is just a big fat ugly spoiled child always blaming other for his failures….
    Thanks Trevor for bringing a little laughter to this madness ….

  11. I hope Trump and his supporters are treated with the same contempt and disrespect that has been afforded Barrack Obama for the last 8 years.

  12. I guess she needed to do more because when the clock ran out Trump won I hope they cancel your show soon because all your bias an supported Satanist I used to love you now I can't stand you make America great again ha ha ha you might want to start putting in resumes because you failed and lost haha

  13. We laughed. We joked. And Trump was out there energizing supporters and getting a feel for the mood of the nation while Hillary was relying on polls and reassuring us all was well. We got suckered every bit as much as Trump's supporters.

  14. Yes Donald! Yes oh great Trump, build a wall! Build the biggest Wall. A BIG wall… build a giant wall ALL AROUND TRUMP TOWER SO WE DON'T HAVE TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN

  15. How many of you brainwashed lefties think that the election is rigged now? It's incredible how far down this show has gone. It's all left wing propaganda. Pathetic. Also, no, I didn't vote for Trump and I don't really support him or his policies. It doesn't take much to see the left wing bias in television and print. Mainstream media is as big of a joke as Alex Jones.

  16. Libtards still clueless AFTER the election. This is a good laugh. No need to go to a remote village in Nigeria…. just ask liberal US college students what's going on. THAT's FUNNY! And who in their right mind would question the US election process?? Liberals AFTER the election (when they aren't busy destroying property). Libs are TOO FUNNY! Trump has more to fear from the Republican establishment than from the feckless dems.

  17. It is so hard to watch this in 2017! At that time no conscious person thought that this moron could get into the oval. but you clearly see what his campain was all about in this video. I'm a swiss guy and i feel with you america! can't imagine having this pathetic, narcisst

  18. Everything is going wrong for Trump? There's a reason he's going to lose? You democrats are freaking Hillarious :^)

  19. https://www.buzzfeed.com/stevenperlberg/cnn-on-edge-after-russia-resignations?utm_term=.rnNYpYGMk&ref=mobile_share#.on3QmQeaG

  20. LOL!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

  21. LOL LOL LOL
    #DonnaBrazile #Rigged #RiggedElection #RiggedPrimary #Riggeddnc
    http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/11/03/big-three-networks-skip-donna-brazile-bombshell-that-dnc-was-rigged-for-clinton.amp.html
    TRUMP WAS RIGHT… AGAIN!!! I LOVE THIS!!!

  22. Trevor Noah – how does it feel to be an idiot?
    #DonnaBrazile #Rigged #RiggedElection #RiggedPrimary #Riggeddnc
    http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/11/03/big-three-networks-skip-donna-brazile-bombshell-that-dnc-was-rigged-for-clinton.amp.html
    TRUMP WAS RIGHT… AGAIN!!! I LOVE THIS!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDsUJIykzds

  23. The 'corrupt media' he keeps bitching about gave him the MOST FREE MEDIA COVERAGE in the history of POTUS elections, and it's everyone else's fault for holding up the mirror!!

  24. In elementary school, there was a kid where, every time he lost, he starts whining and says everyone else whoโ€™s playing the game cheated or that the game was rigged against him. Eventually, everyone else learned to not invite him to play games because he was a sore loser. When we didnโ€™t let him play, he told the teacher, and the teacher told us we had to play with him. We eventually stopped playing just so we didnโ€™t have to deal with him.

    Trump is like that kid.

  25. it was rigged, he was chosen ahead of time for his willingness to do the deeds; look at his tax breaks for the wealthiest, cuts for seniors and disabled…

  26. The shocking fact is that the election was actually being rigged by the Russians in Trump's favor. Did he conspire with Putin?

  27. I'd just like to point out something I happened to notice in Trump's tweet about the "rigged" electoral college. The last sentence of the tweet was, "The loser one!"…. Did Trump mean to say, "The loser WON!"? One and won do not mean the same thing. They're an example of what we literate folks call synonyms.

  28. Just like Matt Damen said in that war movie…..to the reporter…Do you mean this war was started by something reported in the newspaper.

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