Democrats Need to Be as Relentless as Republicans | The Daily Show

Over the past month,
several states have introduced harsh new laws limiting
or banning abortion. These bans
are spreading so fast, even measles
as an epidemic is like, “Yo, you need to slow down.” For more on this
and what’s happening, we’re joined by my good friend
Neil Brennan, everybody. -(cheering and applause)
-Yo. What’s up, buddy? Thanks, Trevor. People, these abortion laws
are getting out of hand. First the ban started
at eight weeks. Then it was six weeks. Pretty soon,
they’re gonna start saying that life begins
at eggplant emoji. And if you’re shocked
about this, you shouldn’t be, because for 40 years,
Republicans said, “If we get enough power, we’re gonna overturn
Roe v. Wade.” And you know what happened? They got enough power. Now they’re trying to overturn
Roe v. Wade. It’s like how I heard
my entire life that when I turned 40,
my neck would start hurting. And guess what happened
when I turned 40? Uh, your neck started hurting. It all started hurting, buddy. My neck, my back,
my tushy and my crack. (laughter and applause) Thank you. Look…
Republicans have shown that they are ruthless,
maniacal and laser-focused, and, frankly, I respect it. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Neil, Neil. You respect… How could you respect
restricting women’s bodies? I don’t respect
what they’re doing. I respect how they’re doing it. If Republicans
believe in something, they don’t back down from it. Republicans are the kid
in the back seat of the car nagging their mom
until they get their way. “Mom, can we go to McDonald’s? “Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.” Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay. I think we all know
where this is going. Yeah, to McDonald’s. (laughter) You know why? ‘Cause Republicans
are relentless. Honestly, I wish Democrats
would be more Republican. Wait, I’m sorry.
What does that mean? It means that Democrats
are too nice. Remember Obama? Remember him? Black guy. Yea high. President. In 2009, he came in
proposing universal health care, but Republicans said,
“What about insurance companies and the deficit and wait time?” So, by the end, Obama was like,
“Okay, I’ll compromise. “Here’s 20% of what I proposed
and a busted-ass website. Good luck with your infections.” So, wait.
So, you think Democrats shouldn’t have consulted
Republicans at all? Yeah. Because back then,
Democrats controlled both chambers of Congress
and the White House. They didn’t need Republicans. Getting universal health care should have been
an easy slam dunk, but instead,
it turned into this. (bleep) -(laughter)
-Oh, wow! Wow, okay. Okay, that’s just embarrassing. Yeah. That’s Democrats in power,
buddy. Republicans, on the other hand,
refused to yield. They said ban abortion,
no exceptions. Rape, incest, doesn’t matter. Even if the ultrasound showed that the baby
was gonna be a werewolf, they wouldn’t care. They’d be like,
“Here’s a pacifier and a razor. “Congrats
on your hairy-ass baby. Don’t let him out after dark.” Okay, I think I get
what you’re saying. So, you’re saying
that the Democrats need to be as relentless
as the Republicans. But the question is, are liberals even capable
of that? Of being annoying? Oh, yeah. You ever ask for a plastic bag
at Whole Foods? They shame walk you
down the tabbouleh aisle as gender-fluid yoga instructors
pelt you with organic yams. (laughter) Democratic politicians
need to bring that big yam energy
into governing, ’cause Republicans came to win, and the only way
you’re gonna beat them is by being as relentless
as they are. You want a Green New Deal,
Democrats? Demand it
and don’t stop demanding it. Green New Deal. Green New Deal. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. All right, all right.
Fine, Neil. I’ll take you to McDonald’s.
Neil Brennan, everyone.

About the author


  1. He nails it.  Pelosi and Reid were weak 2009-2010; now we watch Pelosi (again) and Schumer being weak as hell.Nancy: I don't want to see him impeached. I want to see him in prison.All of us: Impeach the mutha!

  2. Quick tip black people don't like white people saying "black people" it sounds racist to us fyi

  3. Black People, minorities , women and the working class are always behind and keep losing their rights to corporations profits because only the party of rich white men and the upper class is actually working for its people. Democrats are frauds they want power to pursue their own political and financial benefits but not to work for the people. They whined about trump for 3 years and now that they can impeach him they’re refusing to risk their seats.

  4. Women should be able to choose themselves whether they carry a fetus to term or not. Nobody is talking about abortion beyond 22 weeks.

  5. And this is the exact reason why we shouldn't elect Biden or Warren. Both of them still have it in their heads that we need to reach "mutual compromise" in order to achieve progress.

    Uh, no. When one side is pushing for progress and the other side is pushing for regression, fuck that other side, bang their moms and dab the fuck out of there like you're coasting on that big Gen Z Voter energy.

  6. Democrats are not too nice! They are spineless! They go with the flow! Look at Hilary and her views and actions! Spineless! Only Bernie is determined!

  7. Okay, don’t mean to argue just want some more information and opinions. What does he mean when he says democrats should be more republican. I understand the “be relentless and persistent” part but can someone give me an example with an actual current event/topic? I guess what I’m asking is how should democrats go about being more republican?

  8. Yeah and look how much the Republicans have accomplished in their 2 years! They had a very hard time getting their shit together even controlling both houses. But hyping the stereotype gets the laugh every time.

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