Brooklyn Democratic Debate Cold Open – SNL


[ LAUGHTER ]
♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>>GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE CNN DEMOCRATIC DEBATE LIVE
FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK. I’M WOLF BLITZER, AND BELIEVE IT
OR NOT, I SHAVED FIVE MINUTES AGO.
LET’S MEET THE CANDIDATES. FIRST UP, FORMER SECRETARY OF
STATE HILLARY CLINTON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>HELLO. HELLO, BROOKLYN!
I CANNOT WAIT TO BE YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT, IF I’M ELECTED, OF
COURSE. NOT GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF IN
PUBLIC. IN PRIVATE, I’VE BEEN PRESIDENT
FOR 15 YEARS.>>AND VERMONT SENATOR, BERNIE
SANDERS.>>GOOD, GOOD, GOOD FOR YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>GOOD FOR YOU.
GOOD FOR YOU. I AM BERNIE SANDERS.
I’M A VOICE FOR REGULAR PEOPLE. I’M NOT FANCY.
I’M NOT THE ELITE. I PUT ON MY PANTS JUST LIKE ALL
OF YOU. I SIT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND
JANE PULLS THEM UP FOR ME.>>THANK YOU BOTH FOR MAKING
TIME TO BE HERE. I KNOW IT WAS HARD FOR BOTH OF
YOU TO AGREE ON A DATE.>>WELL, NO, NOT FOR ME, WOLF, I
OFFERED UP A DATE RIGHT AWAY, I SAID HOW ABOUT MAPRIL 33rd AT
BLOOP OWE CLOCK.>>I ALWAYS TALK LIKE I’M ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF A RIVER.>>SECRETARY CLINTON WE’LL START
WITH YOU. YOU RECENTLY STOOD BY GOVERNOR
CUOMO AS HE SIGNED A $15 MINIMUM WAGE INTO LAW.
DO YOU NO LONGER THINK IT SHOULD BE $12?
>>I HAVE SAID FROM THE BEGINNING THAT IT SHOULD BE A
COMBINATION OF 12 AND OR 15.>>NO, NO YOU DIDN’T.
YOU ALWAYS SAID 12.>>AND 15.
I SAID 12 AND OR 15.>>THAT’S NOT TRUE.
>>YES, IT IS.>>NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>ARE YOU FEELING THAT, BURN?
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, COME ON, LET HIM GO.
LET HIM GO.>>THAT’S HOW WE DO IT IN
BROOKLYN, BABY. GOD I LOVE BROOKLYN.
BROOKLYN’S THE ONLY PLACE IN EARTH WHERE THE
[ INAUDIBLE ] IS BETTER THAT THE
[ INAUDIBLE ]>>OH, YEAH CANDIDATES, IT’S
TIME FOR THE BLACK QUESTIONS. SO THEY ASKED ME TO DO IT, AND
I’M GOING TO DO IT REAL GOOD. HERE WE GO.
SECRETARY CLINTON, IN 1994. YOU SUPPORTED A CRIME BILL THAT
LED TO THE MASS INCARCERATION OF MANY BLACK PEOPLE.
DO YOU REGRET THIS DECISION? [ LAUGHTER ]
>>I AM LAUGHING TO GIVE MYSELF TIME.
TO THINK ABOUT HOW TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>GOT IT, GOT IT.
LISTEN. WOLF, THE BLACK COMMUNITY LOVES
ME. AND I LOVE THEM.
IN FACT, I HAVE TWO BLACK PEOPLE IN MY PHONE.
BARACK OBAMA AND MY HUSBAND, BILL CLINTON.
GOD I LOVE BARACK, WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE’RE
ALWAYS CHILLIN’ OUT, RELAXING ALL COOL, SHOOTING SOME B-BALL
OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL. WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS WERE UP TO
NO GOOD.>>WHOA WHOA WHOA, I’M GOING TO
STOP YOU THERE, YOU ALREADY HAVE THE BLACK VOTE, DON’T RUIN IT.
>>I HAVE SUPPORTED THE BLACK COMMUNITY SINCE THE ’60s.
I MARCHED IN SELMA WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
DID THEY RUN WHEN THEY TURNED ON THE HOSES?
YES. I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR GETTING
WET. I’M NOT GETTING SICK IN SELMA,
I’LL TELL YOU THAT.>>MOVING ON SECRETARY CLINTON.
MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID THIS CAMPAIGN HAS GOTTEN MEANER IN
RECENT WEEKS. DO YOU THINK YOU PLAYED A PART
IN THIS?>>OH, COME ON, I DON’T HAVE A
MEAN BONE IN MY BODY.>>WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
APPROPRIATE TO TAKE SOME QUESTIONS FROM REAL NEW YORKERS
IN THE AUDIENCE.>>SURE, SURE, BRING IT ON.
>>OUR FIRST QUESTION COMES FROM ELAINE BENNIS.
>>HI THERE, I HAVE TWO QUESTIONS.
MY FIRST IS FOR SENATOR SANDERS.>>I COULDN’T HEAR THE SANDERS.
>>I DIDN’T ASK IT YET, BERNIE.>>YOU’VE BEEN PRETTY VAGUE IN
THE PAST, HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO BREAK UP THE BIG BANKS.
>>YOU MEAN A BIG BANK BREAKUP?>>YEAH, A BIG BANK BREAKUP.
>>YOU BREAK THEM UP?>>HOW?
HOW?>>ONCE I’M ELECTED PRESIDENT,
I’LL HAVE A NICE SCVHITZ IN THE WHITE HOUSE GYM, I’LL SIT THEM
DOWN AND YADDA YADDA YADDA, THEY’LL BE BROKEN UP.
>>WHAT? NO, NO.
YOU CAN’T YADDA YADDA AT A DEBATE.
ALSO, YOU YADDA YADDAED OVER THE BEST PART.
>>NO, I MENTIONED THE SCHVITZ.>>SECRETARY CLINTON, MY
QUESTION FOR YOU IS, DOESN’T IT SUCK TO BE THE ONLY GIRL IN A
GROUP OF GUYS?>>YES, IT DOES, MY SISTER
FRIEND.>>DON’T WORRY, BECAUSE EVERYONE
THINKS YOU ARE BY FAR THE FUNNIEST.
I MEAN, THE MOST QUALIFIED.>>WHAT THE HELL AM I?
>>YOU’RE BALD. [ APPLAUSE ]
>>BERNIE’S GETTING UPSET.>>OUR NEXT QUESTION IS IN
ANOTHER LONG TIME NEW YORKER. SHE WORKS IN FASHION AND HER
NAME IS RACHEL GREEN.>>OH, YES.
BECAUSE OF THE — THE — YEAH, AND — WHAT WOULD?
YEAH.>>MA’AM, THAT WASN’T A QUESTION
AND YOUR TIME IS UP.>>OH, OH, GREAT.
>>OUR NEXT QUESTION COMES FROM A FATHER OF SIX, HE’S AN OB/GYN
IN BROOKLYN AND HIS NAME IS DR. CLIFF HUXTABLE.
>>OH, NO, NO, NO.>>WE’RE GOING BACK TO MISS
ELAINE BENNIS.>>SENATOR SANDERS, YOU BELIEVE
THE SUPERRICH SHOULD PAY MORE IN TAXES?
>>YES.>>BUT WOULDN’T THAT BE BAD FOR
ACTORS WHO MADE A LOT OF MONEY ON A CERTAIN VERY SUCCESSFUL
SITCOM?>>YEAH, SO?
>>WELL, I MEAN, WOULDN’T IT BE EVEN WORSE FOR THE PERSON WHO
CREATED THAT SITCOM? I MEAN WOULDN’T HE LOSE A LOT OF
MONEY? DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SAYING?
>>YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR HER.
>>THAT’S ME. YES!
>>AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

About the author

Comments

  1. Kate McKinnon is so hot to me! Except when she plays Wilbur Ross or Jeff sessions or Giullani etc. That's creepy.

  2. Good job snl you called the better candidate, and for your B S American people will pay for this for years F U snl

  3. I’m late to this but whatever. I agree they didn’t portray Bernie Sanders well but this COMEDY not facts.

  4. Yep, this made me realize how much we loved Seinfeld. They've all become straight-up icons. For real…

  5. lol i get that a joke is a joke, but bernie is getting hella smeared in this. bernie makes a ton of sense if you listen to what he says, and it sucks that they portray him as someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

  6. You know one of the most disgusting punishment so you can have flick on the person would be forcing them to watch Bernie Sanders and his wife have sex oh my god even that is beyond disgusting only thing worse is put Hillary and they're making them have a threesome round robin which disgusting perverted is bobbin

  7. So many tropes, so few working saturday shows. Maybe another network can will fill the void and take your marketshare

  8. I think that that second long time New Yorker was Nancy " Spray Bottle " Pelosi the way she handled that question. Lots of words but no coherence.

  9. Lmao whose watching in 2019 thinking, thank God trump was president over these 2? Oh wait this is SNL….. probably not many of u lol💯

  10. The "Julia Louis-Dreyfus" bit was obviously a shill for Hillary Clinton.
    SNL = Hillary Clinton Puppets
    I don't know who's more shrill …Hillary Clinton or Julia Louis-Dreyfus in this SNL propaganda clip.
    Thanks for helping to elect Trump SNL

  11. This is what SNL has become. They will only hire actors, writers, directors etc who are fanantically to the left. The show has not been funny for years.

  12. SNL didn't hold back on portraying Hillary as the despicable person she is, they even brought out issues that haunt here and are damning to her campaign. And yet, can't help but see that they endorsed her run for president.

  13. Aaaand that's why our country will never ever get better until there's a civil war because no one will lead with real integrity.

  14. i really like bernie sanders….his heart is in the right place…unfortunately even if he wins the republicans will shut him down at every turn….thats why i never voted…whoever wins the poor people loose

  15. I can’t believe people didn’t enjoy this skit! As a die hard Seinfeld and Larry David fan, I thought the subtle references and nostalgic moments were pretty darn good! Imma LIKE!

  16. I have never felt so old in my life. Not because of the Seinfeld references with Elaine and the real George, But because these YouTube comments suggest the people commenting have absolutely no idea what just happened

  17. Here a few years later but damn, people got so angry cause they made a joke about precious Bernie. Nothing against him, but it’s comedy, it doesn’t have to be nice.

  18. Look at all the piss-ass Bernie bros who can't take a joke. Downvote more you crybabies. I love Bernie and am pushing for him again but I can laugh at a joke. Also I voted for Hillary in the general for 2016 and she would have made a GREAT president. For anyone who disagrees you're literally insane.
    If anyone can actually think that the wholly unfit unhinged lunatic unstable neon shitshow who lets literal devils like Steven Miller whisper in his ear is better you should be disemboweled and shot and might as well be deported for good measure as you must love evil policies and destruction towards this country and its environment.

  19. SNL's bias towards Hillary, or against Bernie, was way too heavy, the only good one they did was combining CYE with Bernie's campaign. Not that they were completely easy on Clinton but they just made Bernie look far worse and even were more direct about it, like in the other sketch when the character strongly insinuated he was "too far left" (he's not, unless you think European mainstream centre-left is "too far left"). They could have easily exaggerated some of his qualities without taking it as far as they did to make him look so awful, just like they were able to do with Hillary. Hopefully, if they do sketches like this again, they do a better job with it next time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *