(dramatic orchestral music) – Surprise! (screaming)
– My Rube Goldberg machine! – So, now I’ve been back at CollegeHumor for a little bit, I have commissioned one of the country’s leading polling companies to create for me a survey, which I would love for you all to fill in. – Aw, heck yeah, I love surveys. – And, if you hand it
back to me by the end of the day, you will be
entered into a raffle to win $5 off your next $100
purchase of Chompsky’s Chips. – Hell yeah, I love winning. – [Trapp] Siobhan.
– Uh-huh. – This question.
– Mm-hmmm. – How glad are you that Siobhan is back? A: very glad, B: overjoyed, C: I just peed with happiness. – And? – I know my answer. – Chomp, chomp! – Siobhan, this is a bad poll. There’s no negative answer here, okay? You’re gonna get skewed results. You have to let me say that
I’m not happy you’re back. – You’re not happy I’m back? – That’s not the point. This is bad science. You need to give people
chance to answer negatively. Otherwise, the poll will be faulty. – Well then, don’t answer it, okay? More Chompskey’s for me. Chompsky’s. – Okay, well, just skip this question and then answer the next question. The next question is very, very scientific and unbiased or whatever. – Okay, fine. – I want my Chompskey’s. – Siobhan.
– Trapp. – 100% of puppy murderers agree that it’s bad that Siobhan is back. Do you agree with these morally decrepit people on this and
possibly other subjects? – Ugh, turns out I poll very
badly with puppy murderers. (sighs) Was I sad when
I got that poll back. So anyway, are you one
of them or one of us? – I would never agree
with the puppy murderer. This test is easy, not like math at all. Stupid math, you’re not the boss of me. (ominous music) – I’m not answering this. This is bad science. You know I hate bad science. – Next question. – I can’t answer this. – Why? It’s a simple yes or no answer. – Are you happy Siobhan is back? A: yes, I am a good friend. B: no, and I’m also one of
those secret Nazis Hail Hydra. – Yeah.
– Siobhan. – Trapp.
– Siobhan. – Trapp.
– Siobhan. – Trapp. (supsenseful music) (suspenseful music intensifying) (growls) – I’m not a secret Nazi, am I? I mean, I would know if
I was, right, wouldn’t I? Oh, garsh. – Raph and Ally don’t seem
to have any problem with it. I don’t see why you should. – Yeah, heads up, I’ve just been saying B for everything coz I’m not
really invested in this. – I have a problem with it because bad polling is ruining everything. They’re just scientific enough
for idiots to believe them. At best, they add nothing to society, and worst, they’re the source of evil, manipulative propaganda, okay? And they’re always fucking wrong! – I put ‘no’. – And yes, Nate Silver beat me at Model UN when I was in high school, and I’m still not over it, okay? Fucking Nate Silver with his polls! – Can you win at Model UN? – Yeah, sure, that seems real. – Why did you come back anyway? – Oh, it’s cuz I spent
all of my money on polls. It turns out I’m incredibly needy. – Hey, what’s up, it’s
Ally from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe, click here to see some more cool stuff, and if you wanna see a hot babe in the city, click here. I made that. This is what I like.